As it gets darker earlier, it gets colder and Halloween is just around the corner, there are so many fall activities that time can feel compressed or over scheduled.

How do you cope with the holiday blues if this is an important holiday to you?  How do you have the emotional energy to face this holiday without dread?   Each person handles their grief differently.  Here is one idea for Halloween. On the holiday, set aside five minutes to check in with your senses.  What do you:

SEE?  SMELL?  TASTE? TOUCH? HEAR?

This helps you if you are feeling anxious or sad.  Take a pause and acknowledge where you are in the moment.  This is a way to know how you are on this holiday, without too much effort or energy.  If you want to, jot it down.  For example this Halloween, I might see the birds in the sky flying over.  I hear the sound of traffic, etc.

If you want to spend some time reflecting about your loved one, do the same thing again.

SEE?  SMELL?  TASTE? TOUCH? HEAR?

What sounds do you think of when you think of your loved one?  Or smell?  Is it the food he/she made or something that he or she used?  For example, when I think of my mother, I remember the smell of cold leaves before going trick or treating, or her popcorn balls that smelled of hot sugar.

Sensory memories are quite unique for each person and special.  We often can associate those sensory memories in our present life.  It gives us connection with a loved one that is no longer here.

On Halloween, I will set out a pumpkin, plug in some lights, order take out because I don’t have energy to cook and I will remember her when I smell the cold leaves on Halloween night.

Be gentle with yourselves in grief.